Ah yes, SONY, the reason we’re all here. Playstation, you may hold your head up high knowing you are the best series of consoles ever.

Admittedly the Gamecube only had one iteration, but still.

What did SCE bring to the table in terms of disappointment, low quality sequels, and broken demos?
LittleBigPlanet – Vita bundle, cross controller gameplay – So yeah, Little Big Planet gets some new stuff revealed for its Vita launch, all looks… very much like Little Big Planet, can’t fault it there. And Little Big Planet 2 lets you play on the PS3, with your PS Vita.


I mean, the idea is nice, and the promise of some incredibly fun multiplayer levels integrating this could be interesting… but… is this just something to say “Hey Nintendo, we can, and WILL copy everything you do”

More like Over-using-this-IP…asaurus?

Tearaway – Media Molecule go ahead and bring out a fully 3D Little Big Planet game.

Ok, that’s a bit harsh, some of the characters are still 2D papercraft.

Ok, fine, Tearaway looks neat. But that’s it. It doesn’t necessarily look fun at all. And again, being on the Vita I don’t see how it could be entertaining and not completely embarrassing on a bus.

I look forward to its release, but not for the sake I want it, I really don’t, but for the sake of the people who have stuck with the Vita this long, hoping for something worthwhile. Thus far, the only game I have enjoyed on it is Reality Fighters , and that in itself stopped being fun once I realised, I would much rather be playing this on the PS3.

You will literally be tearing away your trousers in frustration at this game… maybe… probably… who knows, it might turn out to be great.

Killzone Mercenary –  Ok, look I understand the hype on this, but like Killzone 2 and 3, the hype will be completely unjustified because the games will lack any soul what so ever.

I admit, I haven’t played Killzone 3. But when you destroy a franchise that had 2 of my absolute favourite games for their respective consoles (being Killzone 1 and Liberation) in one foul sweep with the abysmal Killzone 2, I see no reason to purchase another game in your series unless it really impresses me.

And frankly, a Vita game, will need to boast a hell of a lot of awesome fun features to get me excited. This, this didn’t. Maybe if more than half of the trailer wasn’t live action nonsense then maybe.

Practically my expression at the announcement.

CoD Blops Declassified – … I’m not even going to bother.

I have no idea what this specific Call of Duty game looks like, so make do with this.

Playstation Mobile – Whilst I would say, please see above for full details on this matter. I know nothing at all about it to really comment. Something about android devices playing cheap wannabe Playstation games that got turned down at the Minis office?

Not for me.


Plus – Ok, we get it, you’re trying to push Plus even more. But for the last time, I don’t want blu-ray games on Plus. I have already bought them on disc, funnily enough, and don’t want to spend 5 days downloading 15 GBs of tripe to my PS3.

Oh, but now we get Red Dead Redemption? Another game I own, and think is nowhere near as good as everyone believes.

25% off for people at some point, for something or other and 1GB of space now on the cloud.

Oh… let me repeat that. 1 GB of storage for my game saves. Thankyou, something, I can actually be pleased about. I know it may sound sarcastic, but that’s how I am, so that’s how it sounds, but no, really, I like this, I like this a lot.

I just don’t see why it deserves a spot in a conference.

Hey, you better ‘stand’ clear of this one pftpftpft

Until Dawn – Is this the Moves answer to Rise Of Nightmares?

I dislike Move. Ok? However, sometimes it works, it’s just I don’t have the space for it.  But, this, genuinely looks rather tempting. It’s sexy, scary and looks like it uses some pretty nifty graphics and lighting to its full potential.

I shall keep this in my sights, and hope it actually turns out to be a game worth purchasing Move for, as thus far, only Resistance 3 has done so.

Nothing to say. Genuinly… looking forward to this.

Japan Studio – Japan Studio keep things Japanese with two strangely different games.

Rain, a PSN game, about some kid, who is only visible in rain… and … I think.. you run and jump a bit? There really wasn’t much to go on here.

And Puppeteer is a pretty kooky 2.5D platformer centered  around another boy, this time in a theatre play stage thing, with some scissors involved, and what looks like it could be some pretty epic boss battles and some… I don’t know, I think everyone who created Stacking, took some acid, then hung out with the guys at Media Molecule.

Still, both look interesting, and I’m more eagerly anticipating just what price point Puppeteer will be going at, over almost everything else.

Hey this game looks to be a real “Dampener” eh? … Oh… I’ve already used that? How about… don’t want to ‘rain’ on your parade, but… … ah I’ve got nothing, it looks like it could be fun… for a ‘rainy’ day.

Wonderbook – Ah well, what did you expect.

The second this came up at E3, a very large portion of the Playstation fanbase groaned.

I’ll agree, the tech looks good, BBC and Disney teaming up should prove to be a real boost in terms of what it can deliver, and having a bookworm as its unofficial mascot, clever.

However, I don’t have kids, this is not for me. I’m not going to shoot it down because I think it’s rubbish, because I don’t. I just have seen so far, it take up way to much space in conferences that could be better catered for showing off some crazy 18+ shooting action.

This is the face all your friends would pull if at school you said “Hey, want to stay over tonight, I have Wonderbook”

PS All Stars – I… … I was honestly expecting more than just a quick 30 seconds and 4 character reveals in the Vita section of the conference.

However, Sackboy and Ratchet weren’t exactly big reveals, but still, good characters none-the-less. Spike looks funky, and a great blast from the past. And what everyone feared, the new Dante.

We can only hope the alternate costumes unlock original Dante, or he’s going to be left on the side-lines when I play, and when a good majority of others play by the looks of things.

Get hype!

Other ‘reveals’ – There were plenty of other reveals along the way, The Last Of Us had a section, where they showed us clips from the same demo at E3.

Cross buy looks pretty hype… but… we already had it for Motorstorm RC… so… not really “woah” But I certainly hope many other developers get on board.

PS3 Essentials launches… giving us…another option other than the Platinum collection to buy games? Or… something

You can now play PS1 games on your Vita… or will be soon, I didn’t take much notice of this bit, and I’m not sure why anyone else would.

And… maybe… something else that I have probably forgotten because it wasn’t the most entertaining hour of my life but hey yo, it was free.

Oh, pfft, how could I forget. Fifa 13 gets Move support, oh yey I canhardlywaitforthisgoingtobesogoodImightjustkillmyselfnow

Yes, I have man crush on Joel. He really blows me away… like this guy, ‘cuz shot in the face.


August 15, 2012 at 1:43 pm

are you 12?


August 15, 2012 at 1:47 pm

You are just a crabby sob. 


August 15, 2012 at 2:12 pm

This article sounds like something my 3rd grade brother wrote to my mother, your incessant whining and horribly opinionated position makes this a poor article. Reconsider yourself as a article on this website my friend.

August 15, 2012 at 2:16 pm

admit in your little bio youre not intellegent…so congrats with the honesty,but i could have figured that one out over the course of this article…i own all consoles for full disclosure so im not accused of being a fanboy…but dude seriously…its gamescom nothing of any importance is going to be revealed here….and since it seems you care nothing about the vita or move in general,why would you spend so much time seeing what they have to offer?

August 15, 2012 at 2:45 pm

This article… do you even LIKE Sony? You took every conceivable positive and spun it into a negative simply with your indifference, as if you not being enthused somehow makes each thing bad.

Of course, you lost all credibility by claiming Killzone 2 was crap. That you also downplayed great, imaginative titles like Rain and Tearaway confirms your status as an invalid.

In short, you should stop writing, and you should stop gaming.


August 15, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Seems you had a bad day yesterday when you were watching the conference … To me Sony did a good job, much better than at E3 so don’t understand your negative view …

August 15, 2012 at 3:37 pm

wow you think killzone 2 is bad? fucking sad man


August 15, 2012 at 4:16 pm

IT’S PlayStation NOT Playstation.  If you are a PlayStation site get it the fuck right!  You look like a complete ass-hat not knowing how to properly format the brand name.


August 15, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Woah-ho they Nelly Furtado’s, touched upon a sore spot did we?

Considering not one of you have had the common decency to respect that other people have a different opinion to yourselfs (and arguably a better one considering the majority result to foul mouthing over nothing more than a video game) It’s high time you all learnt some manners and maturity on this loveable being we call the internet.

Lets start with Killzone 2, every Playstation fanboys go-to game.

In no way was I going all out to say how bad Killzone 2 was. But in comparison to Killzone 1, it was entirely, a ‘bad’ game. All the fun and soul that was in the original, went, there was nothing left to cling onto for an ounce of enjoyment. A complete lacklustre campaign, lacking any originality or a conjealed story, muddy brown textures, and stiff controls.

And destroying the skirmish mode with this new generation of online multiplayer gimicks took the longevity out of it.

I’m not an online multiplayer gamer, as there’s no fun in being spawnkilled by someone you can’t see.

Also, whilst we’re here, the Vita. No… I do not like the ‘console’. I do however own one, and as stated in the article, I wish it all the best, and I look forward to seeing Tearaway. But from what I’ve seen it looks awkward and clunky, and this is the deal with the majority of games for the Vita in my own personal experience, but again, I guess personal experiences don’t count for anything any more?

What other dellusional comments should I address?

Ah yes, do I like SONY. As a company, they are rather good, they have their issues as do all major brands, and their computer entertainment division has more than had its fair share of major highs and lows.

Culminating in this very existence of gaming generation we find ourselves in now. I can tell you all have a shrine to your beloved PS3s and Vitas, but for me, this generation has lacked the whole ‘fun’  side of video gaming we have come to know and love… or I say we, I’m not entirely sure many of you enjoy much in life considering the way you behave here.

There is no one of a lighter disposition in life than I, but with only one or two games a year heralding that spark that got me in love with gaming all those years ago, it’s hard to stay completely optimistic about every release when on the hole they always let you down.

Pessimism is often considered a bad thing, but, whilst you all hide behind a veil of lies and hype about whatever generic game you have set in your sights, only to be dissapointed on launch, but play on through the online multiplayer, keeping back the tears of sadness, I shall expect the worst, and if it is the worst, I lost nothing, if its great, I can only gain.

Also, why do I care about the Vita? Because like the rest of you, I want it to succeed, but as my lifestyle goes, I’m not that much of a portable gamer, I play games inside, then when I’m outside, or away from my home consoles, I tend to be in a situation where wacking out a Vita would be rude. I’m not saying you all need to get out more, (it seems like you may need a bit of fresh air) but just like motion controls, I prefer my gaming to be of minimum effort. The times I would use my Vita I don’t want to have to be shouting at it, or waving my arms and elbows all over the place to comeplte a simple task that could be done with just a D-pad.

Then why did I buy a Vita you ask if all I would do is slag it off? For the same reason I bought a Move and a PS3 in the first place, because I wanted to support Playstation. They can make good games and consoles, it’s not my fault that the majority of games released thus far don’t appeal to my tastes. What can I say, I have high expectations of the Playstation brand… maybe you are all just too easily pleased?

I not sure what a crabby sob is, and I am also not 12. But sometimes, I’d like to be again, so I can have the mental capacity to enjoy the brainless incessant trifle of mediocre, tedious games that litter our consoles to this day, much like some of you seem to do.

I congratulate you on managing to sustain any amount of happiness through this tough transistion, we all as gamers face today. And I hope for my benefit, as well as yours Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale does turn out to be the gem I hold so dear to my heart, so we can all play online some day as a big happy Playstation family.

If you have stopped suckling the teet the money hungry corporations have forced upon you that is.


    August 15, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Very few times I have come across such an ‘air of superiority’ (arrogance?).Wow! Anyway, it would seem you have arrived at that juncture in life at which gaming is no longer your ‘thing’. Move on, if the case is such, but stop punishing yourself and offending your readers. Find something else that is meaningful in life. Best of luck to you.


August 15, 2012 at 5:08 pm

I liked the part where the guy pulled off his pants.

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