I’ll be honest, Capcom aren’t my favourite publisher ever, but they are also far from my most hated. I just find the games they send to the Western lands a bit of the same old, same old. So, after spending a bit of time with Capcoms conference, what are my initial impressions on what is bound to be a mess of boring sequels?

Remember Me  – Well, one of the “big surprises” of Gamescom, but by jingo, I don’t see what the fuss is all about.

More female protagonists, yes please, a game which looks like it could have a thrilling and tense story, with a strong plot and character build, alright.

… But gameplay wise it all looks a little too scripted for my liking, and I’ve never been a fan of all this modern platforming in this type of game. Whilst it looks sub-open world, it will most likely turn out to be a linear path.

And as for this memory…. I don’t know…. ‘minigame’ ? This just looks like it would get very old, very fast.

Also, Alexia… rather hawt, needs to have a bigger part in the game.

So… much… futuristic… 7th generation… bloom and glare effects

DMC – I like Devil May Cry. … I have played them all, but I wouldn’t consider myself a fan, they are fun to play once, and then that’s it… just leave them there to say “Yes I know who Dante is” …

…Or at least I thought I did. I’m going to jump on the One Direction Lookalike train to Danteville now and say “Since when was Dante in the hip and happening boy band, One Direction?”

Gameplay wise… looks… pretty standard. Can’t exactly fault it here, it’s building on something that has worked for years, and as long as they don’t throw in some cheap gimmick to appease the ‘professional reviewers’ who love to see change, when every other gamer apparently doesn’t, then I might pick it up eventually.

I mean, not much else was shown here that I didn’t already know, except Vergil also looks like a rejected boy band member.

What kind of action hero stance is that?

Resident Evil 6 – I’m not too ‘up’ on the Resident Evil franchise. I played 1 & 2 as a youngling, because that’s what kids do, and I never got past the first level on Code Veronica X.

And apart from those, Resident Evil 5 is the only other game I have played, and still never completed, along with the rest of them. But I did get to the final boss (what I hope was the final boss) But me and my partner are bad at video games and died a little too much to bother.

So with 6, I haven’t been following it greatly, but specifically what has been shown at Gamescom today… hasn’t really wetted my appetite either.

It just looks like an absolute mess of action and button mashing with characters I know I have never heard of, and some quite tedious and terrible voice acting. Add in a completely questionable snowmobile section (these vehicle driven sections never work in games, ever) and add this to what I already know, with it being this 4 part game… it looks like it’s something I shall be avoiding, like whatever disease, mutant virus, squirrel rabies has broken out in Resiland now.

This is what I expect my brain will look like after trying to comprehend what happened to horror games

Resident Evil.Net – How up yourself do you need to be to want to tweet your Resident Evil scores? I’m sorry, but this age of gaming where everything is linked through a webpage, just shows everything that is wrong with the gaming world right now.

Lost Planet 3 – Probably the only game that we knew was being talked about this year at Capcom I was excited about.

Being the only person in the solar system who thoroughly enjoyed Lost Planet 2 it seems. I was hoping for something substantial in the way of gameplay and what genre this was going to be.

…However, again… I am disappointed, the old cliché of “Dead Space rip-off” rears its ugly head again, especially the blue blip of the number 3… oh my. But the game as a whole doesn’t seem like my cup of tea.

I’m not 5, mechs don’t appeal to me. I also like big ol’ beasties and boss battles, something which seems to be missing thus far.

I appreciate going back to the roots of the original game, but for me personally, I loved the arcade co-op style of the second game, and would gladly take that over this cold stab in the dark at trying to appeal to a more hardcore broad fan base.*

*Pun intended, if it was at all a pun… because ‘cold’.

Hey remember me? I’m the father of the child in Ice Age

Street Fighter Something – Not a fan of the Vita, and I am under the strong impression that Street Fighter is the worst fighting series ever made, and that Tekken is the second worst.

I have nothing more to say.

Skeet Fighter XXX Tekken however, now that’s something I’d play.

I Googled “Street Fighter X Tekken Vita” and this came up, for all I know it could be a screenshot from the game, they all look the exact same to me.