EA… ah yes, the daddy of all third party publishers. And as such has gained a critical following in both fans, and people who would appreciate them more if they threw babies out of planes.

I am of the “dislike” them category of gamers. However, I’m much more open to playing their games, as they have had some real gems in the past, and even in this generation there have been a few games which have gone against their motto of “We taught Activision everything they know”

So… I’ll let slide any and all EA Sports … … ‘previews’ and see what else they have to offer.

Army of Two: Devils Cartel – Army of Two is a series which has never got on board the hype train, and quite frankly, with this release, I think it’s only just made it to the station.

I am looking forward to it, as I was the first 2 games, but like the first 2, I reckon this will be disappointing. The gameplay again looks generic, there was next to no co-op specific features, and when you bang on about a feature, called “overkill” make sure it does something interesting when you activate in your demo.

Oh look, by pressing this button, the most brilliant feature ever to be seen in games, can utilise the Frostbite engine and destroy a chest high wall. Yeah. Take that bad guys.

However, Visceral do seem to have done a grand job on the actual visceral side of things… dat blood… oh yes.

So, uhh, you up in the invincible super powerful helicopter, got a broom so I can help clear up this mess?

Burnout Para… Need For Speed: Most Wanted 2 … 3? … Most Wanted. – Well, what can I say. Criterion have made some brilliant games (all prefixed with “Burnout”) and the Need For Speed series has been a dire puss filled boil on the genre of racing since its inception.

This entrance in the series looks to be just another boring ride along streets with shiny graphics.

Oh, but there is more integration with the outside world? I can now drive through my friends face, that won’t get old after the first time at all.

You can see in their eyes the developers at Criterion just want to make another game about crashing, with awesome damage modelling and physics, but slapping the brand name Need For Speed on the front prevents them from doing so, and as such, those 3 words have lost them one purchase.

Do you like things that go “brrm”!? Do you like flashing lights!? Then this is the game for you.

Medal of Honour Warfighter – The greatest series of realistic war shooters ever. … And despite the reboot being a half asked attempt at anything mildly interesting, it still is, just because I’m not a fan of Battlefield or Call of Duty, and will follow all things MoH to the grave.

However, what was shown here was more tosh about online multiplayer, something, I could not care less about.

Oh-ho but this time, we can choose which nation we come from. It’s going to be just like playing Counter Strike right? Without the fun though.

Frontline was the epitome of greatness. A single player story that will stick with me forever, with a local multiplayer mode that means the longevity of the game is everlasting. But no, they continue to look over this fact and give me shoddy single player content with pathetic features which means I can tell my friends where I got killed, and online modes filled with pre-pubescent kids shouting “Lag” or… maybe “Fag” I can never quite tell.

This game is a real “Dampener” eh? eh?

Battlefield 3 … stuff – So yeah. I would have preferred Bad Company 3 over this. So… there’s some more DLC … and that apparently requires a press conference to announce it?

No one clapped after they showed it, hopefully this will get the message through to them, that genuinely… no one cares. …

…or no one should care anyway.

The game is a year old, you all know what it looks like by now, here have some text, it’s what you deserve.

Crysis 3 – Showing off this hype unique game mode, which has been done plenty of times before.

I always thought Crysis games were made simply to stress test your PC… I know that’s the only reason I’ve played them, they’re quite poor gameplay wise aren’t they?

No?

Oh… just me then.

I mean, this type of game mode will not work in 99% of the games played. You need to have a team of likeminded, fun loving people to play with, otherwise it’s just going to be a anger fest of OP and nerf calling going on.

Obligatory: Looks like Rambo the game comment.

Dead Space 3 – The only thing I was looking forward to. After seeing how they destroyed the franchise at E3, I was really hoping for someone to shed the light on it, and say it’s still Dead Space.

But no, that didn’t happen. Once again, they open a series up to a broader range of idiots/players and destroy what use to be fun.

You can’t show a gameplay demo of Dead Space 3, when in that demo, you recycle a whole gameplay segment from Dead Space 2… just without the scary monsters going rawr. Oh, but I can also create my own weapons? … or… can I use a select few components found at pre-determined points in game to fuse together to create a weapon I could have easily obtained with a schematic like the original games for use at one specific point in the game where it will be of a beneficial use.

“So, hey Isaac, do you remember when everyone was like “Oh geez, I wish Dead Space was less scary and more like Call Of Duty”…” Yeah, me neither”

Then there was some other stuff that doesn’t really belong with Playstation:

The Simspsons Tapped out – Some game about a cartoon nobody over the age of 10 watches anymore.

Origin – A shop? Maybe?

Sim City – Actually the most exciting thing they showed… isn’t a triumph though, they could show a 2 frame .gif animation of a leaf changing colour, and I’d clap that more than anything else.

Star Wars The Old Republic – Plenty of females running about.

… And they are releasing more sports games if you have £40 burning a hole in your pocket and no friends to go outside and play with.

Gonna press me some X and hold me down some o’ dat sweet R2